dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
