hotel room ftw
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
