I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
