i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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