i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i think i have two assholes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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