told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
