you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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