1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
