He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
