let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone came in the potted fern
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we're so committed to being not committed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
