My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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