What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize