He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
