never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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