I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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