id be glad to
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
