I look better un-naked...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
