He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
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