I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
