he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
