I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
