and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
