I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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