omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How does one acquire holy water?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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