I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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