I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
