my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
