I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
