is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
