where am i from again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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