Please, let me fuck your mom
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
