Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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