So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
