Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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