Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
