Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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