wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
