I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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