Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
