just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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