..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
