He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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