I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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