I think my fart just growled at me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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