**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
