No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize