Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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