I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
