I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
