i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got inside last night via doggy door
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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