We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
