My brain says no but my pants say off.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
