I'm lost and stupid without you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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