Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
