So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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