I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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