proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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