Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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