This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize