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• (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  you for real need to get over him dude

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Happy Birthday

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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• (954): View more from Florida

  hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Are we going out tonight?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My conscience says no but my vag says yes

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

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• (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.

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