I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
