Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
