Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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