No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
And then he peed in my hair
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